Going out of my mind

The last few days have been incredibly nerve wracking. The highlights of which include waking up today and yesterday at 4:30 a.m., unable to go back to sleep. Fun, fun, fun.

So, to refresh everyone’s memory, on Jan. 4, I went to the RE for an ultrasound and was told my follicle was ready to go. I did the Ovidrel shot that night. The next day I experienced an odd pain in my lower-right abdomen, which after reading up online (really someone should bar me from Google searches), I’m pretty certain that was me ovulating. So theoretically, that would now put me at 15 DPO. And guess what, no AF.

Before you even ask, yes, I tested (twice) and yes it was a BFN both stinking times. And it was last night and this morning so it’s no like it was too early. Side note here, I accidentally got the digital readout test. Big mistake. I thought not seeing the second line was bad enough, try reading the words “not pregnant” clear as day in bright type. No way to misread that one. Awesome.

After calling my doctor today, I was told to be patient and that I hadn’t given it enough time. She certainly didn’t seem too confident on the possible pregnancy thing, more like AF is just right around the corner. At this point I hope so. Not that it really means much even if it is. I’m being pulled off of Clomid. But at least then I can have some wine.

I asked if it was possible that I didn’t even ovulate — which to be honest, I can’t even really fathom as an actual fact; I mean, 150 mg Clomid (I think; still unsure) and a shot of Ovidrel and still no O???? That just can’t be %&@#’n possible. Luckily, the nurse seemed to have the same reaction. She basically told me that the Ovidrel shot forces your body to ovulate and given that a follicle was ready to go that day, it would be pretty impossible if I didn’t.

So here I am. Waiting some more. I’m going Friday to get bloodwork — a pregnancy test and for a progesterone tracker. The worst part is my lower back has been killing me, I’ve had incredibly bad gas and indigestion and now my bb’s are sore. Yes, all early  pregnancy symtpoms. But also AF. I just want this to be done already.

I’m nervous about the next step, but it’s better than limbo. I’m going out of my head over here.

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Big appointment.

Well…maybe.  I didn’t get a phone call today confirming my appointment with my OB/GYN tomorrow–so I’m really hoping they didn’t mess up my appointment because that would just mess up so much as I’m already on CD 4 and don’t know where we’re going from here.   I am actually looking forward to the quarterly “What’s wrong with those ovaries?” appointment for the results of my latest round of blood tests and a new treatment plan.   I’m guessing more Clomid will be in order and thinking that we might be going up to a 150 mg dose.  

Today, I heard an advertisement on the radio looking for women 18-34 who are trying to get pregnant but not ovulating.   It sounds like a clinical trial for a new medication aimed at stimulating ovulation, so I figured why not and gave them a call.   I don’t have much more information other than the fact that the organization doing the study is part of a fertility clinic and local hospital in the Detroit Metro area.  I got a voice mail from a coordinator and will call her tomorrow for more information.   It sounds like they’re specifically looking for PCOS patients, but I’m not sure if you have to have a definite diagnosis or not.  

I guess my biggest question is whether everyone in the study would be given the medication or are they using placebos?   It would really suck to go through all of the testing, prodding, baby dancing (well, that wouldn’t be that bad)  to find out you were given nothing but a sugar pill.   I couldn’t handle that kind of disappointment.   Talk about playing with people’s emotions!   I would also be wondering about multiples–has the drug been studied enough to know whether a litter would be a possibility?   I definitely don’t want to be an Octomom.

So many questions–but the idea of being monitored by a fertility clinic, FOR FREE, is kind of exciting since our insurance won’t cover anything.  I guess like everything, it’s all about benefit vs. risk.  

Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes well

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