Gimpy, but going for it

First, a big congrats to Al at Mission: Motherhood for rocking the BFP this morning. Al’s baby-making blog is one of the first I began following and her news today lit me up from the inside out. It is, in a word, AWESOME!!!!

Okay, onto my CD13 update. I wore a bright red and green plaid shirt to the RE’s office this morning (it’s cute, I promise) and my knee-length argyle socks. This was an effort to put some “happy” into my aura. (I also wore jeans and white converse high tops. It was a casual day at work.) I CAN DO THIS, I kept thinking. I can take the bad news. I am strong. I am calm. JUST BREATHE. No matter what this ultrasound throws at me, just breathe.

The results were decent. I have two 17.5mm follies on the left side. My lining grew almost 1mm to 3.2. That’s still really thin, but, I mean, it’s growing. I was shocked by that…I figured it’s be the exact same. So that’s awesome. Go body! Keep up the good work!

And the best part: I’m triggering tomorrow night. Yep, for his 31st bday, hubs will be giving me that magical Ovidrel shot. (Hey, it beats having to do his biz in a cup for an IUI on the morning of his birthday!) Because of the way this all worked out timing-wise, we are not doing the IUI this cycle. And I am completely cool with that. For all of my attempts to control/plan/take charge of my important cycle days, it just didn’t pan out that way. The good news is that hubs has great swimmers so we can spend the weekend gettin’ busy under my parents’ roof.

The nurse said it’s too late to do anything about my lining. (My Googling suggests otherwise, but whatevs.) She said there are two kinds of docs, those who think lining is a big deal, and those who don’t. Dr. C doesn’t think it’s a deal-breaker. She said if we conceive and it’s a good embryo, it’ll find a way to stick. Plus, the lining may thicken up a bit more before ovulation. Those are the POSITIVES. The obvious negative is that a thin lining is not as nourishing, soft and welcoming to any good eggs floating around looking for a place to get comfy. And the two maturing follies are not big fatties at the moment.

I’m not saying any of that to be a downer, I’m just being realistic. My TTC defense mechanism is alive and well….I’m gimpy this cycle. But NEXT time? Maybe my odds will be up. Dr. C will prescribe something to counteract the thin lining Clomid causes in me. We won’t be traveling so we can IUI if we want. At minimum, we’ve LEARNED from this cycle, right? Right!

But still. I admit that I really, really, really want it to work. I’m going to enjoy the weekend with my parents, siblings, friends. And I’m going to have lots and lots of fun with my wonderful hubby. And that, my friends, is that! Thank you all so much for the support and comments, it has helped me through a roller coaster of a week. Merry Christmas!!

[Via http://suchagoodegg.wordpress.com]

Well, that's just confusing.

Hello and welcome to CD24…and AF arrived this morning. What? Why? I suppose I should thank Clo.mid for this little *blessing*. However, now I am just really confused. When I had my follicle scan 13 days ago…I had no dominate follicles…how did I ovulate? When did I ovulate? Did I ovulate? How fast do follicles grow? I had a borderline positive OPK on CD15…but now I am having a period? This makes so little sense to me. Can anyone more experienced help me out?

I confess that I am woefully lacking in the way this all works…especially since this was my first medicated cycle and who knows how messed up Clo.mid can make your cycle.

I guess I don’t have to have progesterone this month…small comfort. And I suppose this explains why I was cranky yesterday and didn’t sleep well the past few nights.

[Via http://rainingblossoms.wordpress.com]

Cycle Day 25 - FS Appointment.

So, After a huge 3.5 year update on whats been happening with my cycles, medications and weight loss… Dr Iona Macleod she said her main ‘mission’ is to get my cycles regulated on a drug that doesn’t half kill me in the process – clomid gave me terrible pain, and metformin made me extraordinarily ill. On top of that, she also said she wanted to build a clearer picture of what’s going on down there, aside from having PCOS…

So, she did an internal examination and took swabs to check for infection.

She is sending me for an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries to check the PCOS and also look for fibroids.

I’m also going for a hysterosalpingogram / HSG to check my tubes, although she thinks they’ll be fine because I’m getting positive tests – they’re just not lasting.

Finally I’m having bloodwork done for Rubella, FSH, Testosterone, E2, LH, Prolactin and TSH.

Then, because I wasn’t keen to try clomid again, she’s given me Tamoxifen.. which apparently does the same thing and is taken days 2-5… I’ve read it can be a better choice for PCOS aswell… so fingers crossed!

So, aside from being terrified about the HSG – it can be very painful apparently and it’s advisable to take a good dose of painkillers before the procedure…. I am set to go for my blood tests next thursday (17th), get my period friday, and start Tamoxifen on saturday. I’ll get my ultrasound appointment through at some point… lord knows when. I am supposed to call the clinic to arrange the HSG for CD10/11/12/13… but that falls perfectly on the 27th december and the following few days… and to be blunt it’s a bad time to be out of action, we have a lot planned for Christmas. I think I’ll see what happens and how I feel in a few days.

Course, I could be pregnant and then I’d avoid allll of this. Please Lord… this would be the BEST time!

[Via http://mrseffelle.wordpress.com]

"Let the roller coaster ride begin!"

That’s what I said to hubs at 8am this morning after I popped my first of seven Provera pills. Haha. Poor guy! Actually, I really hope it isn’t a roller coaster. I’m hoping to stay Zen, avoid meltdowns and even develop some mild confidence as the days go by.

A quick note: Today’s Provera pill came a few days earlier than I initially planned. It’s the earliest day the RE nurse suggested I take it. I did this in the **hopes** that I can ovulate before the RE’s office closes for four days at Christmas. I just felt in my bones like it was the right time to get this cycle rolling. Who knows if my “gut” is right—I had a “gut” feeling about beginning an awesome cycle #2 of Clomid three weeks ago and that turned out to be wrong. But I’m over that!

In all honesty, I am feeling a little bit nervous. (Not meltdown-y or emotional, just, you know, a teenie bit anxious.) I have no idea when I’ll get my period. I have no idea if that cystie went away. (Three weeks ago, I was sure this December cycle would be a go, but now that I’ve earned a couple of Google credits toward my M.A. in ovarian cysts, I realize this is NOT a sure thing.) I have no idea if I can take Clomid this month. I have no idea, if I can take it, if it will work.

But here I am, my friends. Hubs and I are taking the plunge! Bring it on!!!

[Via http://suchagoodegg.wordpress.com]