Thursday, November 19, 2009

Prickly prickly

Have I told you guys about the TTC Money Tree I have growing on my back porch? No? Well, I planted it back in September, about when I decided it was important to supplement my gym membership with yoga classes to chill me out on the baby-making front. And boy has the tree grown big and strong. (Another box of fancy-pants OPKs at Walgreens? No prob, I got it!)

Hahaha…

Here’s where this is going. I took some cash from the TTC Money Tree and tried acupuncture last week. And even worse (better?), now I believe in it. My hubs is a teensie bit shocked and appalled that a reasonable, skeptical, RE-going girl like me can actually be putting, um, eggs in this new basket.

I’d been contemplating acupuncture for a few months and found some studies supporting its fertility benefits: promoting healthy female hormones in the body and boosting blood flow to the uterus (click here , here and here for a few abstracts).

Finally, I tried it last Wednesday evening for the first time. My practitioner, Kristen, and talked for an hour about my TTC details and regular ‘ol history. I liked how many questions she asked, and I really liked how well-versed she was with medical terms and Western meds (even dose levels and lining measurements and stuff).

She seemed to glean all the weirdness that is me (I get numb hands and feet a lot, I’m usually cold—except at night when I’m usually hot, I have always had constipation issues, ETC). I changed into loungey pants and a loose button-up shirt and was ready to go. Then she put the needles in me (eeeek!)…in points along my ears, my left wrist, my feet, knees and three near my belly-button. I was scared. I clenched my eyes shut.For 20 minutes I tried to relax on a massage table, never peeking at those needles! I felt a dull ache-y pain under my belly button. (Sort of like that feeling you get in your throat when you swallow something too big? Like that.) Then after a while the ache moved into my lower abdomen area and turned into a fizzy, almost electric crampiness. I was a little freaked out, but I practiced my yoga breathing (thanks TTC Tree!) and made it through.

Before leaving the office, I made a quickie trip to the bathroom. I discovered I had some spotting. Yep, that’s right. The period I never believed would come showed up within minutes of finishing acupuncture. I know this was mostly Dr. C’s magical Clomid running it’s course (it was a little early in the window of ETA, but in it nonetheless). I can’t help but believe the acupuncture triggered it right then. I might be crazy. I might sound like a new-agey goofball. But, I still believe something happened in my session! (Hubs’ very logical take on this: “Why does it have to be something. Couldn’t it just be a dull ache? What’s so great about that?”)

Anyway, I went back last night. This time the acupuncture points were different because now we’re at the beginning of my “cycle,” yesterday being CD7. I felt a dull ache in my tummy again, but not as intense as last week. Kristen was sympathetic about how crushing it felt to be yanked onto the sidelines (oh, the drama of my life!) on Friday thanks to the cyst. But she was also super happy to have a month with me sans meds. She is very optimistic that I can ovulate and menstruate all by myself. While that is VERY awesome to hear, I must admit that I have not totally gone to the dark—er, holistic—side. I still believe in Clomid.

So we made a deal. I will start doing OPKs and looking for CM early next week and if any signals suggest ovulation then I will delay my December 5 start date of Provera. In the meantime, I will eat more red foods (red pepper, beets, etc) and more nutrient-rich greens (kale, chard, etc). These are good for my cold disposition! (Who knew?!) I have been asked to start temping. (I know it might seem weird that I don’t do that already; but I am afraid of getting type-A about one more disappointing daily measurement….the negative OPKs really take it out of me!) She also asked me to cut back on my running…from 20-25 miles a week to 12-15 max, with yoga twice a week instead of once. “It’s great that you exercise regularly and I would never take away that endorphin boost running gives you. But running 20 miles a week—while it may not feel like a lot to you—is very hard on your body. We want to be gentle with your body right now, which means less jostling and high-impact activity,” she explained.

That is a pretty big change (and one I thought I’d successfully tackled in July), but I’m open to easing up even more. In fact, I’m going to set up my road bike inside my apartment this weekend and swap in some mellow bike rides for miles. (I’ve been meaning to do that anyway!) Finally, Kristen recommended some Chinese herbs (that will not conflict in any way with your RE’s Western meds! I highly doubt Dr. C would agree), but even I have my limits. I’ll be incubating that one.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

well...

not to sound less than enthusiastic about this TWW but… I kinda am.  I am trying – sorta successfully – to keep my mind on other things.  To keep my mind so full of projects I don’t have time to think of anything else.    I had some pretty intense cramping last night which makes me think AF is right around the corner and makes me a little sad.  Part of me thinks well you did take the double dose of clomid and maybe it worked this time…but the other part of me thinks honestly how could this outcome be different than the last.  The only time I allow myself to think about it when I’m blogging so it might be sparse this TWW just because I am trying not to over analyze every little symp or twinge.  There is a song from the movie P.rince of E.gypt about miracles – even though it’s a kids movie they are still pretty powerful and I think the lyrics definitely apply to the head space I’m currently in or hoping to be in soon.  One of complete faith and understanding that things happen for a reason – and that it’s not just a chliche’.

In workout world, I am set to run with my team tonight – well half of my team the other half is training and to gimpy to run LOL.  Really though, it’s not funny she hurt her knees and ankles from running…I think because we don’t have good technique…maybe we should ask for some help with that.  Anywhoo, I weigh in officially with my biggest loser state challenge today – starting weight is (drumroll please)…184.8   I know most girls would probably be sad with that number but as you know – starting from 230 a year ago – that number is cause for a celebration for me.  I still have another 50lbs. I wanna lose.  I need to be 130-135!  That also means I NEED to get off my ass and stop whining about exercise especially when I have such an unexpectedly great support group at work.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Hot flashes

Instead of feeling like my normal 32 year old self, I feel like a woman in menopause.  I have had the worst hot flashes lately–last night while making dinner the hot flash was so bad that I started stripping my clothes off in the kitchen.   I live in Michigan, so walking around in shorts when it’s 50 degrees out is kinda strange.   I had a few more today what weren’t as bad as the one last night, but it’s such a weird feeling when it happens.

I’m not sure if it’s the Clomid or Premarin causing the hot flashes.  I’m leaning toward the Clomid, simply because Premarin is a drug docs put menopausal women on to STOP some of their menopause symptoms.    Only other thing I have noticed is that I get a headache everyday now.  I’m used to getting monthly migraines, but not every single day.  I’m hoping those go away soon.

I have been trolling on other TTC/infertility blogs lately and I’m amazed that there are so many other women who are in the same boat as I am.  I thought about joining up with some message boards because since I haven’t told anyone that I have started this grand adventure I have no one to share the ups and downs with.   So, if you’re reading this–just leave a comment and say hi

While on these boards I have become more up to date on all of the TTC lingo out there–my favorite euphamism, “baby dance,” (abbreviated BD) as in…husband and I have to do the “baby dance” every other day in order to maximize our chances of conceiving.   I guess this is more polite than the other ways one could describe the act itself.    I still don’t understand all of the lingo/abbreviations…but I’m getting there!